4A; Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

    "Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a positive attitude while waiting"

  The American dream, to be successful. No matter who you are, everyone would like to reach the point of their opinion of “success.” But how is success measured and how can we achieve it? In this week’s video of Joachim de Posada, he makes a very blunt statement, “the most important principle for success is the ability to delay gratification.” Delaying gratification involves the ability to resist temptation of an immediate reward for a bigger reward in the future. This form of extrinsic motivation was tested in the Marshmallow Test which consisted of three, four year old kids tested as to how long they could wait until eating the marshmallow placed in front of them. If they could wait the full fifteen minutes, they would get two marshmallows, a better reward. But to a four year old who has no concept of time and feels like they're waiting forever for what they want, it is much more difficult to resist. The results of the test were that only one-third of the children were able to wait the amounted time, which is not surprising in the least bit. Furthermore, the researchers followed up on those who participated in the experiment and found that the low-delayers had lower S.A.T scores, behavioral problems, and even drug problems. When I first read this, it was a very shocking correlation because it seemed a bit extreme that a marshmallow test could actually predict future life success. This is where I found the “Just Let Them Eat the Marshmallow” article intriguing. It carefully detailed the statistics saying that of the five hundred fifty original participants, only ninety-four children’s S.A.T. scores were actually collected and a vast majority did not participate in the original experiment. It also questioned the validity of the experiment and saw the test as more of an ADHD test. This article also went on to say that the time avoiding the reward had zero correlation to IQ or self-control at age eighteen. Although these articles contradict each other, the idea of self-control, self-discipline, and delayed gratification are explored.

                In general, I would describe myself as an impatient person as I do not like to wait. But as I think about my life and life-goals, I begin to rethink this analysis about myself. Enrolled in a four year university, I never looked at school as “waiting” to finally get my degree. Although I am thrilled this will be the end result, I feel as though school is part of my normal routine and I truly enjoy having the opportunity to further my learning and grow as a person. This may be because of a growth-mindset I have towards school or maybe my ability to delay gratification. Both of these I believe come from both being born with it and also from the nurture I have received up until this point. The support I get from my parents especially, teachers, and colleagues is more than I can ever ask for and really keeps me going. As I apply the daily willpower I instill, I take each day to complete tasks thrown at me, while also looking at the bigger picture and realizing I have four years to finish.

Another reason I would re-think my patience level is the fact that my boyfriend currently goes to school in California. He moved a few years ago and I have had to wait a year each time to see him. Although we talk daily, the instant gratification is not there. With effort and willpower, I know the end “reward” will be completely worth it. As Americans, we thrive on instant gratification as technology is a huge part of our everyday lives. We are so acclimated to just typing something into the internet and getting our answers, instantly. Ever since our phones have become computers, this has an even bigger impact on us. Now the phone companies even have “express plans” so customers have to wait a shorter time for an upgrade on their phone. To improve our ability to delay gratification and make it more readily practiced in society today, it should start in the home. As discussed in the “Don’t! The Secret of Self-Control” article, parents should be establishing rituals daily such as, saying no to snack before dinner or saving allowance.

If delaying gratification really is the secret to success, it must be practiced from when we are young, strengthening our willpower, and resisting that urge to eat the marshmallow. Patience truly is a virtue.

How can we improve delayed gratification? Can we learn to delay or is it something we are born with?